This morning was the second time I’ve woken up next to you. And I don’t remember the last time I had such a great rest. After another night of too much alcohol and a lot of drugs, I still remember getting back to your place at about 3:30am (which is pretty early considering we’ve gone til like, 8am in the past) & you were sick & exhausted. You fell asleep in my car as we left the second party of the night. But you cooked me a grilled cheese and then one for you, and I just realized now how it’s kinda cute how you let me eat one first - even though you were the hungry one. & then we got ready for bed. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna sleep on the couch in the living room, or on the same bed next to you. But you wanted me to sleep next to you c: Which is where I wanted to be too. I woke up throughout the night a few times when I’d feel your legs up against mine. I wanted to put my arms around you but I’m still not sure how you’d react. I’m scared of making something awkward and I’m scared of being rejected. I didn’t feel an urgency to have sex or to really even kiss you, but I really wanted to hold you close, regardless of the fact that your room was like, 100 degrees. I like you so much. I’ve seen so much of you the past month and I hope it only gets better from here. You already mean a lot to me, despite how my tall walls that surround me prevent me from showing it. I hope you see through them. Please don’t hurt me. I’m fragile, I’m scared, but iwantyou sobadly. I hope I get to wake up next to you again soon.
this is, and will forever be my favorite post on tumblr… I love going back to my “favorites” to look at it.. the writing is just amazing and beautiful (as I have told Ryan) and I think it really captures a moment that I want to go back to, or experience again, in my life… It’s a cruel post in a way, it makes me remember a really great time but then teases me about not having it anymore or anytime soon… forever lost